Co-creative Spiritual-Life Coaching Tools

Amy Egenberger, M.Ed., CPCC

Here is a sampling of the tools I access when I’m helping people shift, raise their awareness and move forward along their creative path.

The basic purpose of coaching is to help you clarify where you are now, where you want to be, and the action steps you are willing to take to achieve your goals, dreams and desires. You are honored as the expert in your life and work, seen as creative, resourceful, and whole.

The experience of coaching can seem mysterious and magical at times. The tools used in coaching, however, need not be. Here are some of the processes and strategies I use as a co-creative life coach to encourage your self-discovery and to help you generate your own solutions and strategies.

Body Wisdom

Our bodies offer us a wealth of information when we stop and listen. Sensations, postures and movements can give clues and doorways into deeper insight and guidance for the journey.

Creative Imagination

The change we long to create begins by imagining it as so. By relaxing and playfully engaging in imaginative scenes, we are able to safely explore uncharted territory and access new information and energy that can free us up to make empowering choices.

Metaphor and Analogy

It is said that poetry is the language of the spirit. Metaphors, both linguistic and multi-dimensional, allow us to include and integrate guidance from the mind, the environment, and the emotional and spiritual bodies. Vivid images and experiences can then be brought into the realities of our daily lives via the metaphors we select.

Intuition

This may come in the form of images, thoughts, sensations or words. Although it may seem non-sensical to our logical minds, flashes of intuition from both of us can spark unexpected and desirable breakthroughs in your understanding, perception and experience.

Untangling

The experience of overwhelm can be the outcome of having many tasks tangled together with our thoughts/feelings about those situations. Similarly, confusion or angst may result from the twists in how we interpret the circumstances of our lives. To free yourself from the suffering of jumbled thinking, we separate out the distinct interpretations, not unlike the way we would untangle a handful of necklaces that have become knotted together. Separate strands create clarity and more room for you to make choices.

Real questions

By “real” questions, I mean questions that I don’t know the answers to. These questions that come from a genuine place of curiosity and/or intuition for the sake of the “ah-ah!” possible when exploring new territory.

Re-languaging

Our thinking is strongly connected to the language we use. The meanings you associate, either consciously or not, to familiar phrasing can be intricately linked to the out-dated patterns of being and behaving that you wish to transform. Choosing new language with intention, therefore, can shift your energy and help new patterns take root.

Communication keys

Just like the right key can unlock a door, there are some communication strategies that can open you up to powerful and respectful connections with others.

* Requests – A request differs from a demand not so much in the delivery but rather in the consequences of the other person’s response. If there is room for a “no,” it is a genuine request. Effective requests are specific, actionable and have a clear deadline. They often begin with phrases like: “I have a request.” The person responding to the request is free to accept, decline or counteroffer with an alternative commitment. The mutual understanding of a request is that the agreement is taken sincerely.

* Responding – My favorite definition of responsibility is “to be able to respond.” For example, those of us stepping up to new levels of self-care need ways to say “no.” Here are a few ways to decline commitments that are not in line with your values, aspirations and overall well-being. “Thank you, but no.” “No, thank you; that doesn’t work for me.” Then, stop. You need not explain.

Inner dialogue

The various voices in our heads all talking at once can cause quite a commotion. After sorting out “who” is speaking, there may be some that you choose to hear more from. A way of “turning up the volume” on valuable aspects of ourselves is to open an inner conversation.

Dealing with the Saboteur

One of the voices belongs to the saboteur or inner critic. This one is programmed to maintain old ways of being and doing, and to avoid real change at any cost. One way to deal with this little bugger is to first notice and become aware of sabotaging messages in and around you. He hates to be noticed! Watch out for disguises, too. The saboteur can masquerade as one of your values. So, getting very clear about what is really important to you helps keep the saboteur at bay.

On-going design

The relationship of your coaching serves as a container that holds the safe space for you to do the courageous and exciting work of exploration and transformation for yourself. The design of this ‘vessel’ must necessarily work for both of us, and be in service of you and what you want to achieve. The relationship is a dynamic entity that we agree to attend to as needed. Patching up leaks or revamping any features will keep this supportive structure as powerful as possible. To that end, regular feedback about the coaching is not only welcome but also essential to co-create its value for you.