I had heard that peonies need the ants for the blooms to open. Not true. Turns out that the ants just like the sweetness of the nectar. Yes, some would say that their visits do help in the opening of the dense double buds, but it is not required. As I watched this ant crawl around, I wondered if the ant is bugging the peony. Is it?
Human relationships can seem analogous to interactions we see in nature. Or, perhaps I’m just projecting. Either way, here’s what I’m thinking.
When it seems as though someone is “bugging” me, how can I return my experience to neutral? Or, better yet, how could I look for the symbiotic benefits. The irritation I felt the other day is an example. A well-meaning friend was trying to make me feel other than how I was feeling, and my experience was as though the ant getting very close. Too close. As the tight bud, I had at least two options, clamp down on myself and tighten up, or let my voice speak. I chose the latter. And my friend, bless her heart, was immediately laughing and grateful that I had pointed out her “trying.” What? It was something she’s been practicing to curb in her actions, and my speaking up actually helped her see that. Lucky for us both!
Even if she had responded differently, I would have felt the relief of allowing my truth to release. Whew! Is that how the peony feels with each petal that lifts in its own good time? Maybe the peony actually welcomes the ant and is grateful. After all, they don’t stay long.
How might more of our interactions be if we looked for the symbiotic gift, and chose the direction of blooming? If it is the season, and growth is our aim, perhaps our irritations would lessen and lessons would be freed. I’m letting the showy peonies remind me of that.
