“Sometimes I think I’m supposed to have it all figured out before I start writing. Have the right color pen, get the problems solved & feelings sorted to write down the little bits of packaged wisdom, the lessons learned & conclusions drawn that settle my anxious heart. Forgetting that it’s actually the movement of the words from my mind to the page that releases me, brings me to new thoughts and has me read what is next for me to know.”
12-13-03
Came across these words I wrote in a notebook named “ideas” with a 40th birthday inscription from my friend Annie. “When the ideas start flying — jot ’em down!”
Yes, and at some point, isn’t it also important to read those ideas again? To see if they have meaning or value?
In the same notebook, a sentence that might be a poem brought tears to me today.
“I long to believe that I belong, that loving doesn’t always mean leaving, and that I am loved as I love.”
04-07-04 3:32am
What is your writing practice?
After years of writing morning pages almost daily, and a weakness for pretty notebooks, I have boxes and boxes and boxes filled with writing. Mostly stream of consciousness scribing, much of which is indecipherable, its value surrendered to the process of clearing thoughts and feelings from my field much like taking out the compost to be released and transformed into something nourishing. That’s the intent of morning pages.
Other journals are started with high hopes and big plans for collecting thoughts around a theme or purpose. But somehow the bright idea turned out to be just a temporarily shiny object that faded into the magpie’s nest of things. Sometimes I pull out the pages and return to the joyful potential of blank pages.
Spiral-bound learning notebooks abound with notes and quotes taken from teachers and seminars are readings that I jotted with sincere intention of referencing for the knowledge and wisdom that would surely serve me in the future. The question of whether that future is now occasionally gets me curious enough to take a look. But usually it goes back on the shelf for some other future.
In the end, I appreciate that I tend to write things down. I’m glad for the personal record, the details of my reflections, and the possibility that a bit of light will shine through my words. Today that’s what happened.
What is your writing practice?
I’m curious to know.
