How do we turn what feels like a fumble into an upgrade?
Reflecting on what happened and naming the learning, unlearning and relearning I got in the experience is worthwhile for me.
Here are 3 lessons I’m working on and claiming.
Perhaps they resonate with you as well.
Accidents happen
After a lovely snowshoe outing with my friend Lisa on January 2nd, I came home to a startling fall on my icy driveway. I suppose that any such fall is always unexpected, but the painful break of my wrist and surgery that followed also led to some silver-lining experiences I hadn’t anticipated.
It’s not like I wasn’t being careful. I even said out loud to myself as I got out of my car, “Now, Amy, be careful.” But I misjudged the pavement that had been under my parked car earlier and mistakenly assumed that is was dry asphalt. It wasn’t. So, when I took a big confident step onto that spot, I slipped and went down fast.
It’s too easy to try to rewind and play it out differently, blaming myself harshly for the mistake. But, forgiveness and self-compassion in this case is supported when I accept and surrender to the innocence in “accidents happen.” Yep, sometimes they just do.
We are resourceful
Now what do I do? First was wishing. “Oh, my hand hurts, but it will be ok.” Then I looked at my arm. Clearly, not ok.
Who do I call? Having recently moved to a new part of the city, I tried to think of my trusted friends that lived the closest. No one was home, but I left a few messages asking for prayers. Ok, I’ll call a Lyft. Talking to myself out loud, calling on angel help, trying to override the increasing pain in my arm and all-alone feeling in my heart, I managed to update my credit card info on the app and ordered a ride. It came in less than three minutes!
Now, feeling quite proud of the way I kept my wits and reached out for help, I’m encouraged to keep practicing those skills. How can I put my resourcefulness in play during other-than-crisis moments?
We are supported
Turns out that the driver lives around the corner from me and had just pulled out to start an impromptu shift that afternoon. He was so kind, got me to the ER asap, and even came around to open my door.
The driver was just the first of many to show me kindness and care along the way. Hospital staff, friends, family and several more Lyft drivers made an airtight case against the lie that “I’m all alone.”
Yes, I had to reach inside and tap my inner resources to know, ask for and receive what I needed. But, I also needed to open my eyes to see that none of that ever happens in complete isolation.
The generosity of my friends to literally lend a hand has done the most to bust up the tangle of my limiting beliefs that keeps a lonely experience of life in place. When the evidence builds for the case that I am blessed with caring people in my life who are willing to sleep on my couch the night after my surgery, make soup, wash dishes, fold laundry, change sheets, open jars, and more… the roots of any “poor-me-nobody-cares” mythology don’t stand a chance.
I realize that, a bit like pulling weeds, pulling up those old patterns is a task that demands routine attention and a willingness to get at the deepest root. But some life experiences help us to loosen, dislodge, release and shake off the most noxious and clingy untruths.
I can’t honestly say that I’m grateful for falling on the ice, but I do feel gratitude for the many blessings and lessons that I received.
What liberating lessons has a life experience been offering you lately?
