Whether you are busy working & adapting in new ways, or spending more time alone, self-care seems more important than ever these days.

But beware! Shifting to what is best for your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual well-being can trigger that pesky inner saboteur that tries to derail you.

This menacing voice might say things like:

“You shouldn’t feel that way.”
“You can’t make a difference.”
“There’s not enough time.”
“The situation is never going to get better.”
“We’ll never be safe again.”
“There is only one right way.”
“You have no choice.”

How do you silence those other-than-helpful messages in your head?

First, it helps to understand & recognize what is happening.

That inner saboteur basically uses FEAR & MEANNESS to drive home its status quo agenda.

This inner critic’s number one job is to stop you from doing things differently, from following your creative inklings, from basically taking good care of yourself and enjoying life. It’s programmed to maintain old outdated ways of being and doing, and to avoid healthful change & growth at any cost.

And in the midst of great change and uncertainty in the external world?

The saboteur shows up more frantically than ever, especially when you have a need to increase your authentic self-care. Familiar negative thoughts might simply get louder, and more resistant to your usual antidotes and distractions.

The inner saboteur thinks it’s keeping you safe by holding you back, but it needs updated working papers.

A personal example…

Taking a walk. Simple, right? Has been. Usually is. But when the “stay at home” order came into place, my inner saboteur took it literally. “It’s not safe to go outside. Too many people crowd the sidewalks & green spaces. You can’t go with your friends; it’s not safe. Besides, it’s boring and noisy.” (Rational, informed, nuanced thinking is not the way of the saboteur.)

Fear, lies and absolutes are the saboteur’s favorite tools.

So, I picked a tree. The tree pictured above is about a half-hour walk from my front door, and I decided to take a photo from the base of this tree each time I get there. “That’s dumb,” says you-know-who. And I just have to put him on mute. I say aloud and repeat, “It’s just a walk. I’m safe. It will be fine.” It takes a bit more gumption these days to get my shoes on, mask ready and out the door for a solo walk, but I’m always glad when I do.

Standing next to that tree and recording the view is just one of the rewards of walking.

3 things your saboteur doesn’t want you to know:

• It hates to be noticed. Every time you spot one of its lies (tiny fibs or exaggerated falsehoods), your inner saboteur loses power.
• Turning up the volume on your true self has a muting effect on the inner critic.
• It thinks it’s keeping you safe, but it cannot discern between what is truly hazardous and what is not.
• Playful, creative action is an effective antidote to its poison.

What you can do to quell & quiet inner sabotage?

1. Notice. Spy those lies!
   Remember, noticing this inner critic is the number one defense you have to interrupt its menacing effect. The good news is that every time become aware of one of its lies, the critic loses its power and the true you gains strength. Write a character sketch of your saboteur. Include description, favorite sayings, skills & habits. This will help you spot and shrink the little bugger.
2. Get clear on your truth. Write it down if that helps. Say it out loud if you need to. What are the healthy tenets that you choose to live by? Your true self can help you clarify this.
3. Check your motives. Are you acting from inspiration and choice, or some version of “should”? Reset to the place of choice, and your saboteur won’t stand a chance.
4. Resist temptation to argue. This is a trap. While you’re trying to prover yourself right to your inner saboteur, you aren’t doing that creative, affirming, self-care thing you set out to do.
5. Take one step. Take one self-caring action anyway and build evidence of the well-being benefits. This is not to build a case against the saboteur, but rather to gain the visceral experience and memory of what truly does you good.
6. Breathe. The saboteur tends to suck the oxygen out of the room, but by taking a deep breath, you allow spirit back into the game. Inhale, exhale.

Ahh… and with that, you have strategies to practice and repeat as needed.

“Saboteur, beware!”