During a recent retreat at a friend’s cabin, the wood fire renewed warmth to our bones after a wintry walk.
How might we create that same sweet feeling of renewal here at the end of 2021, such a challenging year?
Interestingly, many of us never learned how to create completion when things come to an end. We turn the calendar page, ghost one another on apps, or engage in a multi-stage Minnesota good-bye that can take just as long as eating the potluck meal.
We may wish for clear closure to tie things up in a bow, finished and neat. But, we know that life is not often like that.
“Creatures made of clay with porous skin and porous minds are quite incapable of the hermetic sealing that the strategy of ‘closure’ seems to imply. The word completion is a truer word. … When the person manages to trust experience and be open to it, the experience finds its own way to realization. Though such an ending may be awkward and painful, there is a sense of wholesomeness and authenticity about it.”
John O’Donohue, To Bless the Space Between Us, “Beyond Endings” p. 157
What does it take to make something feel complete?
Creating completion means consciously wrapping up and moving on. This process makes room for what wants to happen next by seeing, hearing and telling the truth about what is and about what was.
It is an opportunity to say whatever it is that needs to be said, to acknowledge yourself and the full range of your experience. Completion includes naming what you are leaving behind and claiming what you choose to carry forward with you.
Whether it is wrapping up the calendar year, releasing a relationship, quitting a job, or finishing anything that feels significant, it can be helpful to do some intentional reflection and engage your creativity. I love to co-create a reflective completion conversation with my clients when we bring our coaching work together to a close and fully honor the transformation they have experienced.
Making room for your emotional truth, even if only privately with yourself, is a powerful way to increase your sense of inner peace and possibility to be present and then move ahead.
Try this to bring 2021 to a meaningful close.
Adapted from a prompt my coach shared with me years ago, here’s an example of one way to complete 2021 and get ready for 2022. Give it a try and tell me what you think!
Completion Exercise: Make 3 Lists
1 – Find three pieces of paper.
2 – At the top of all 3 pages, write the same title that names the situation, event or time frame that you are focussed on.
For example: My 2022; My Artist’s Way Oct-Dec 2022; etc.
3 – On one page, write all the WINS, ACCOMPLISHMENTS, BREAKTHROUGHS & CELEBRATIONS that you achieved.
4- On the second page, write all the FAILURES, LOSSES, MISSED OPPORTUNITIES, DISAPPOINTMENTS & UNMET EXPECTATIONS that you experienced relative to this event or period of time.
5- On the third page, write the LEARNING ABOUT YOURSELF & YOUR LIFE that you gained and are grateful for.
6 – Read your list of losses out loud. When you are ready, find a way to get rid of this page with the intention of letting it all transform for the highest good. You could toss it in the fireplace, recycle it, put it in your shredder, bury it outside to compost, or discard it in whatever way feels right to you. Notice how that feels.
7 – Repeat the process in step 6 with your list of gains. Yep, you heard me. Let them all go, trusting that you will retain and integrate only that which serves you and your path for the highest good.
8 – For your list of what you’ve learned, it’s your choice. Put it in a special place, or go ahead and release it as you did the first two pages. Again, you get to trust the transformative power of this completion.
Enjoy the internal freedom you have created. Only when you are ready, start dreaming up what’s next for you.
If you’d like a fun and supportive way to discover that dream and your intentions for the new year, be sure to check out the event happening Jan 8, 2022. Join us!
